Most books start with an idea. This one started with silence.

When my partner entered menopause, I went looking for guidance written for men. What I found was... almost nothing. The few resources available told men to "be patient" or "buy flowers" — as if that scratched the surface of what happens when the person you love starts changing in ways neither of you expected.

I'm a researcher by training, so I did what came naturally: I dug deeper.

The Research That Changed Everything

As part of my MSc in Psychology at the University of Wolverhampton, I conducted in-depth interviews with men aged 48–65, listening to their stories of navigating their partner's menopause. What I heard was raw, often painful, and always honest. Men who felt shut out. Men who blamed themselves. Men who kept quiet because they didn't want to seem weak or selfish. Men who, despite all of that, desperately wanted to support the women they loved.

These weren't the voices I was hearing in mainstream conversations about menopause. Men's experiences were missing entirely — not just their role as supporters, but what it actually feels like to live through this transition themselves.

That research sparked something bigger: Men On Menopause: A Guide To Menopause.

More Than Just Another Self-Help Book

This isn't therapy-speak packaged into digestible chapters. It's real men talking honestly about their experiences, combined with practical tools drawn from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, positive psychology, and research-based approaches to resilience and emotional wellbeing.

It's about finding your footing during the storm, not pretending it doesn't exist. It's about understanding that supporting someone doesn't mean fixing them — and that your own emotional responses matter too.

But from the beginning, I knew the book couldn't be the end of the story.

Books inform, but communities transform.

Building Something Bigger

That's why I created Men on Masculinity — a space where the conversation continues long after you've turned the last page. It's a community built around the themes that emerged from the research: emotions, values, modern masculinity, relationships, and resilience.

This isn't about creating another echo chamber or a place to complain. It's about men talking honestly about what life is really like — the challenges, the growth, the messy reality of being human in relationships. It's grounded in psychological research but free from academic jargon. Practical but not patronizing.

Some resources will always be free. There will be deeper courses and men's circles for those who want to go further. But at the heart of it all will be men connecting authentically around the stuff that matters.

The Vision Beyond Menopause

While the book focuses on men's experiences during their partner's menopause, the community extends far beyond that single life transition. Modern masculinity. Emotional literacy. Values-based living. Communication skills. The tools you develop navigating menopause — they transfer to every other challenge life throws at you.

Aging parents. Career changes. Your own health scares. Teenage children. The man who learns to hold space during hot flashes and mood swings becomes someone who can handle whatever comes next with wisdom and grace.

A Clarification: This Is About Building, Not Blaming

Before going further, let me be absolutely clear about what this work represents. This isn't about competing with women's experiences or diminishing the very real challenges of menopause. It's not about creating division or playing victim. It's about recognizing that major life transitions affect relationships — and that means they affect everyone in them.

In an increasingly polarized world, there's a tendency to assume that focusing on men's experiences somehow takes away from women's. That's not how growth works. When men develop better emotional tools, stronger communication skills, and deeper self-awareness, everyone benefits. Partners get more supportive relationships. Children see healthier models of masculinity. Communities gain men who understand that strength includes vulnerability and connection.

This work is fundamentally about becoming better — better partners, better fathers, better friends, better men. It's about taking responsibility for our own emotional responses while learning to truly support the people we love.

Why Now?

Too many men are trying to figure this out alone. We've been told to be strong and silent for so long that we've forgotten how to be strong and connected. This generation has the chance to redefine what authentic masculinity looks like — not by rejecting strength, but by understanding that real strength includes vulnerability, emotional awareness, and genuine connection.

The book is coming soon. The community is already here. Both exist because silence isn't serving anyone.

If you want to be part of shaping what comes next — and stay updated on the launch — join us at MenOnMasculinity.com.

Let's work it out together.

The book and community are built on original research conducted at the University of Wolverhampton, combined with frameworks from psychology, mindfulness, and positive psychology. No therapy-speak. No quick fixes. Just real tools for real men navigating real life.